My Road Stories

As a Lyft driver I get all kinds of people, 99.9999% of them are cool. Some of the most difficult ones are usually the drunks, but not always.

Yesterday I found my way into San Francisco thanks to one awesome ride from Pleasanton…about an hour drive with decent traffic. And the next pick up was one that I had to document:

It was about 6:30 pm on a Thursday night and I was out looking to make that money! I get a ping to pick up two riders and I was off. No issues no problems but the second they get in could smell the happy hour was good to them. They were joking and chatting away and here was the conversations:

Guy one: I am not sure about this place, they were not even on the deep cups.

Guy two: Yeah no snookies

Guy one: show me that video, I was so under the cap and that was toasted.

Guy two: Deep cups only, I will show you later

Guy one: I am just trying to give out good vibes because you know the world needs it!

Guy two: yeah *drunk mumblings that followed were so incoherent I gave up trying to follow*

Guy one: On point! Almost there!

From that point they got really quiet and I looked back to see Guy two nose deep into his phone and Guy one with his head back and mouth open. I am talking coma style OUT!

The ride was only about a ten minutes long, so these guys were in and out. And what was even funnier was seeing Guy one snap back online the second I pulled up to their stop. It was like his drunk GPS sent him an alert to notify him to boot up!

And to sum up their conversation…I am not sure what was going on but they understood each and that is all that matters.

After I dropped of Guy one and Guy two I drove past a park, nothing all that interesting till I spotted the office chair and what looked like a group of way ward hippies.

That is actually a common sight in San Fran but the next thing I see is sadly also becoming all to common:

About four of the six people in the group where casually injecting substances into each other’s arms. They were not trying to hide this or even make it a little less obvious of what they were doing. I mean for fuck sakes they had an office chair in the middle of this grassy area next to the sidewalk shooting each other up!

So if you are planning to come to San Fran, and I would advise to do so, be prepared to see lots of homeless people straight up camping on sidewalks, junkies doing drugs right in front of you, dodging piles of human poop on the sidewalk and taking in all the sites that the brochures promised! My advice: take one of those bus tours first and ask lots of questions. There are some places you really need to avoid! They are probably one of the more interesting areas but they are seedy to the tenth power. Here are a few places to avoid:

1) The Tenderloin: trust me on this….don’t go there!

2) The Mission District: it’s ok in the day time but after 8pm….just don’t

3) 6th ave: there a couple of cool bars/clubs/restaurants on 6th ave but at night this place is FUNKY!

I am not here to bash San Francisco, it is a very cool place to go. We go down to the Fisherman’s Wharf all the time! But like with any big city it has its issues. I listed the three I know from personal experience, there are other places you might want to avoid. Just check the internets, Siri can be a big help with that….

Me: Hey Siri, what are some areas to avoid in San Francisco?

Siri: Ok here is a listing of massage spas you have visited in the past week. Should I call ‘Madam Smooth Hands’ for you?

Me: Siri; No, erase all save data, purge all saved cookie, clear browser history and self destruct!

Well maybe Siri cannot help you, just be sure to speak slowly and overly annunciate all the words. One mispronounced word can change how you view technology as a whole!